


To Forget and To Remember

by GalacticBandaid



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: But with a happy ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Sad Boy Hours on Tatooine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26216383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticBandaid/pseuds/GalacticBandaid
Summary: "If he turned around what would he see? She was gone. Her body had lay limp in his arms, her still warm hand sliding from his face and he was left with a sort of agony that never truly strays far. Fear was not the way of a Jedi, not even one far removed from the temple halls and so he did find himself turning; eyes searching desperately for someone to land on."
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	To Forget and To Remember

**Author's Note:**

> It's sort of inevitable to start to forget a person who has long since passed.

He hadn’t realized how much he’d forgotten. Nothing more than the smell of sand and sweat for hours so imagine his surprise when he suddenly smelled _her_. He froze, a few locals pushed past him with less than civilized language, and he found himself suddenly afraid. If he turned around what would he see? She was gone. Her body had lay limp in his arms, her still warm hand sliding from his face and he was left with a sort of agony that never truly strays far. Fear was not the way of a Jedi, not even one far removed from the temple halls and so he did find himself turning; eyes searching desperately for someone to land on. Though the force rang out in sadness he ignored it, if there was anyone here amongst the stars who could make it through insurmountable odds it was-

A white waterlily.

It sat amongst other flowers at an off-world trader’s booth. In fact, it looked rather sad and wilted as the much larger exotic plants encroached on its sunlight. How he’d managed to smell it from afar was no simple feat, but he knew deep in his heart that he’d never miss such a detail should it present itself to him. He moved closer to the merchant who regarded him with wariness.

“Haven’t seen you around before,” He was insect-like, pincers clicking with each word, “There aren’t too many reasons for newcomers around here.”

“I’m no newcomer,” Ben replied, “Though you could consider me a loner.”

“Well,” After a moment's consideration he crossed his arms, “You buyin’ or not?”

“How much for that one?” He let a single fingertip fall on the soft white petal and he tried not to think of a time where such a thing might have brushed his cheek.

“You’ve got some taste, stranger,” The merchant eyed him with perhaps more interest, “Not easy to keep those alive you know, they’re from the gardens of Mandalore.”

“I can see you have quite a green thumb,” Ben nodded, if the salesman had been trying to scare him off, he’d have to do a better job.

“If you think you can handle it…” He trailed off and when Ben gave no show of surrender he continued, “I’ll sell it to you for 30 credits. That’s a deal that is, seeing how it might not even last the night,” and although Ben knew frivolous spending could cost him his life in the deserts of Tatooine; he still reached for the credits.

He wasted no time wrapping his cloak around the plant and trekking with it back home to his humble abode. Though perhaps the trader had seen it as a weak plant, he failed to see what Ben Kenobi already knew. Mandalorians, whether plants or people, were always much stronger than they appeared.

***

Her fingers had brushed through his hair, mussing it up, run her hands along his chest, let her lips hover above his own, and then he’d awoken with nothing more than a whisper of a cruel dream. Once he’d hoped such dreams would stop, he’d meditated for hours as a padawan, not wishing to forget, but wishing for things to get easier. Now he wasn’t sure if he wished such dreams would greet him more often or if they’d have left him as he used to hope.

He tried to ignore the ghost of her touch as he changed into a day tunic. It would be another endless hot day and he thought perhaps it was a good thing there wasn’t anyone else here as they’d only make the room much warmer. Though he knew as he thought it, they were nothing, but lies. Half-truths and hyperboles that’s what he was, she’d told him. She’d been quite the opposite, never doing anything halfway.

He eyed the blank walls of his small home. Yes, if she’d have been here, she’d have done much more. Decorated the place with artwork, likely homemade and Ben winced at the thought of what atrocities he would have created.

_‘No amount of jedi training could save you here,’_ he could imagine her saying. She’d use the tone that always meant she was thinking of him fondly, but would never admit it. She’d likely laugh at him too, when he inevitably made an even worse piece. He wondered when he’d forgotten the sound of her laughter.

He shook his head, eyes landing on the white lily resting on the kitchen counter, still growing strongly. It would be no good dwelling upon what ifs, it was time to focus on the present and so he stood.

***

It was the will of the force. He could feel it even as his saber crashed with Vader’s. His former padawan had grown strong in his hatred, but slower in his movements and it may have been the only way he’d lasted as long as he had. He wasn’t as old as he felt, but he’d been through war and his joints ached as a reminder.

He no longer had hope that he could bring his student back from falling so far, but he could feel the force surrounding him, aiding him one last time in what had become his most important battle.

Their blades crashed against one another and Ben let himself lean on the force to keep his feet from sliding.

_“Soon,”_ the force sang to him, _“Soon.”_

He clutched his saber and blocked a few more of Vader’s blows, they were at a standstill and he had just enough time to look over and see the newfound hope that was Luke and Leia rushing towards the falcon. He let himself smile and straightened his blade. The force wrapped around him and he was gone.

To become one with the force, one with all the living creatures in the universe was odd. He no longer had a form, he couldn’t feel with his body, but he could feel with his soul. For a moment he could see across the galaxy, every spec of life, good and bad. The moment ended though and he found himself someplace new. Though he no longer had a body he’d seemed to have formed one. His hands glowed softly though they looked more familiar as time passed. He seemed to be alone from what he could tell, but he felt a little off balance from the overwhelming presence of the force.

“You certainly took your time,” His heart leapt like it had so many years ago when they were on the run, and every time they’d met since. Once again, he found himself afraid of turning around, but it was much easier to quench such a fear after hearing her words. So, he turned.

She was even more radiant than he remembered. Walking through the force towards him her appearance seemed to flicker until it landed on one of her more casual garbs. He spent so long looking at her, trying to memorize every detail lest he ever forget a single one, that she came close enough to touch him. Her hand softly brushed across his face and he couldn’t help, but lean into the motion. She really was with him once more and how he’d longed to hold her every day since the last. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and after a moment's surprise she too, held him.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” He pressed his face into her hair, that same scent from his lily on Tatooine greeted him and he smiled.


End file.
